BEHIND THE BLOG

MEAGER BEGINNINGS: I grew up in an area known as Point Breeze (Point Sleeze to the locals) south of Buffalo, NY with short, occasional stints in NYC. Your typical high schooler, I snuck out nightly for beach keggers, nasty cigarettes and not-so-talented, bleeding-heart musicians, writers and artists. This continued until my father, in an effort to wean his only child, threatened the options of college… or waitress shoes.

REDIRECT: In 1988 I studied English at SUNY College at Fredonia. Suffering from the parental threat to “teach or starve,” I turned in 1991 to the dark side of graphic design and graduated with a mere Associates Degree from Erie Community College. I was then sentenced to serve four years of stripping (a term referring to film and layout… IN ART) for Buffalo, NY’s Waterfront Printing.

REDIRECT: In 1997 I bolted, traveling the world as a Continental Airlines international flight attendant. Japanese temples, Peruvian markets, Shakespeare tickets in Stratford, Ecuador Carnival, Quito’s political street riots, Italian Espresso and Da Vinci sightings were part of my daily routine. This glamour can be yours too for the small cost of… yep, waitress shoes.

REDIRECT: Dating a rock dude (using flight passes to follow tours and “keep him honest”), I was inspired to independently educate myself in web design and public relations within the entertainment industry. My one-woman company, AtticFox Design, was officially born in 2000, although it had been an operational sideline since 1998. My first client was Rykodisc Records representing the (now defunct although occasionally reunited) Ominous Seapods. All of this was made possible on recommendation of Johnny “Z” Zazula, the man responsible for discovering Metallica. (I met the guy only once but he seems to be a great judge of talent.)

REDIRECT: Rocker Dude and I landed in New York’s Capital District after being evicted from our illegally rented apartment thanks to a New Jersey zoning law. September 11th occurred two months later. Then we broke up.

REDIRECT: I witnessed the WTC attacks in person from the window of an FAA hijacking class. The last trip I flew was on September 18th, 2001, returning those English families stranded in Halifax, Nova Scotia back to Birmingham, UK. Upon my return to US soil, I accepted an unpaid, company offered leave… for several years.

REDIRECT: Downsizing apartments six times in six years and selling my stuff to eat, I landed in a rickety farm house in Rensselaerville, NY. There I adapted to the constant shift of temp work as a:

• Lab Assistant - counting insects in leaf litter for an 8 year salamander study at the Edmund Niles Huyck Preserve
• Dung Beetle Harvester - picking bugs housed in a crusty pile of their own poop off willow bushes in New York, New Hampshire, Vermont and Maine
• Farmhand - wading knee deep in chicken shit over the course of two weeks… all for $30
• Summer Science Camp Assistant - cracking the whip on a dozen 11 year olds famous for smooching in the stalls, sleeping with the fishes (a favorite bedtime prank) and sinking rafts
• Rensselaerville Art Program Assistant - I filled in as needed, gluing my fingers together more efficiently than the children I worked with
• Wildlife Presenter - This began and ended when I displayed 3 screech owls, otherwise known as “Messengers of Death” to the Elders at the Iroquois Indian Museum. I was asked to leave and take my bad omens with me… but not before the crow tried to mate with me
• Model (of the clothed variety) - for The Arts Center of the Capital Region classes in painting and drawing
• Commercial Extra - for the same Arts Center of the Capital Region
• Remote Government Software GUI Developer - for the office of OMB and the BIA through CTACorp (a company which, ironically, has no website)
• Freelance PR Chic - promoting a variety of acts such as Paul Green’s School of Rock and Project/Object featuring Frank Zappa Alumni Ike Willis, Napoleon Murphy Brock and Don Preston. (Note: Ike Willis refuses to take interviews during “Matlock” and Nappy seems to spend gobs of time in laundromats.)

REDIRECT: In the summer of 2004, Continental said “shit or get off the pot.” I went through PTSD therapy and recertified within the same building where I saw the attack. The company greeting began:

“Welcome back! As flight attendants, you are the last layer of defense between a terrorist and the cockpit. Who can list seven items on board the aircraft that can be used as a weapon?”

Training ended with distribution of the Employee Assistance number… in the event that you turn to booze or drugs for occupational therapy. Ill prepared to perform daily bomb sweeps over morning coffee, or smash wine bottles to slice a suicide terrorist, this job was no longer for me. I was recertified and resigned within the same week.

REDIRECT: At the moment I am again in transition. I dissolved my design company and enrolled at Albany, NY’s College of Saint Rose. There I revisited the derailed dream of earning an English degree while tutoring politics and literature. In April ‘07 I was inducted into Sigma Tau Delta: The International English Honor Society. In October ‘07, the International Journal of Baudrillard Studies scouted a post from my Brain Drain blog and published it in Vol 4-3, alphabetically inserting me between the BBC and New York Times and entering my name into the ISSN catalog for eternity. In May ‘08, I graduated with a 4.0. Somehow I’ve transformed from globetrotter to cosmopolitan intellectual. All I know is that my brain hurts.

Aside from school, I recently received an education in “life & coffee” while working part-time at Slow Jed’s Mud House, earning “Bonehead Move of the Month” for hopping into a customer’s car I believed to be my own. In June ‘06 I made my film debut on the History Channel. The 13 part documentary on the Revolutionary War captured a few glimpses of me throughout 5 episodes posing as both a middle and lower class colonial woman. (Watch the behind the scenes video.) I was hopeful for the Oscar, but unlike the rest of my life that would probably be outrageous.

A PERSONAL BEST: After a three year courtship, truly a Match.com success, Tim and I were married in June 2006. We’re still in that disgusting honeymoon phase. Beware of spouting romantic drivel.

STILL TO COME IN ‘08:
- A solo, four-week journey organized through Village Volunteers to Have, Ghana in West Africa. My host in Have will be Paul Kpai, director of Environmental Development Youth Movement. There I’ll teach creative problem solving and women’s empowerment at the local school and help to organize the new library. At EDYM’s sustainable, organic farm, I’ll help with the seasonal harvest and introduce an idea for a new irrigation system.
- Returning to the US to GET A JOB already.

FOR MORE: I invite you to read ALFAJIRI, chronicles of my experience in Ghana, and BRAIN DRAIN, my cross-topic blog on literature, film, politics, etc.